I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize