nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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