Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Acid is not a monday night drug
Girls should come with a carfax report
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize
