her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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