I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
