I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
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I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
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Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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