My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
