**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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