She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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