Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
