If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
