I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Found the puke drawer
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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