I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
