Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
