just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize