Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize