We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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