hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize