Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
