If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
