Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
are you still at the devil's house?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
