So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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