it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
