I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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