he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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