I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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