I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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