I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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