Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
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I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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