Have you finally orgasmed yet?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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