OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
