My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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