So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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