for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
