Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
3 2 1 whiskey
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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