Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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