the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
