pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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