I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You can't just leave with hair like that
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
