I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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