your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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