he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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