just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just invented taco cereal.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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