Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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