You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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