Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
mondays should just be called national damage control day
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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