How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
New York to be Host to Americaâ€™s Biggest Singles Event
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Kylie Jenner Wasnâ€™t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs