Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises