I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not