did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?