Me. At least after what I've been through.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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