I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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