why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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