I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
