what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
