Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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