your room smells of hookers.
And success
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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