Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
