saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
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I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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